Synopsis Edit

It's all go in Craiglang. Winston's had his pension stopped, Isa's husband has returned out of the blue, and Jack and Victor have caught the competition bug. They're all due a streak of luck, but who'll come up smiling?


Series Name
Season 1, Episode 6
Air date 11th October 2002
Written by Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill
Directed by Michael Hines
Episode Guide

The episode opens with Jack and Victor at the GFT cinema in Glasgow to see the John Wayne film Rio Bravo. Unfortunately, their enjoyment is completely spolied by an inconsiderate couple sitting in front of them, constantly chatting and complaining. After the film, Jack and Victor ask Simon, the young man who sold them their tickets, to refund their money. Simon initially refuses, stating that it is not their policy, but ends up giving Jack and Victor their money back after they insult him. Outside the cinema, Jack and Victor meet Tam. To Jack and Victor's annoyance, Tam has won a competition, allowing him to see films for free, along with free cinema treats.

Meanwhile, Winston is having money problems. At the post office, the lady tells him that the DSS have cut his pension money. Winston then goes to the DSS, who tell him that his pension money has been stopped because he had continued to claim for a knee injury, despite being recovered. Winston goes into a rage and is removed by two police officers.

As for Isa, her estranged husband, Harry, returns after six years. Isa is only too happy to accept Harry back into her life, as Harry claims to have turned over a new leaf.

At the bookies, Jack and Victor meet Winston and Tam. They are concerned at Winston betting £50 on a 100-1 horse. Tam's horse wins and Winston's horse failed miserably, and had to be put down. Instead of sharing his winnings, Tam tells Jack and Victor that he is entering another competition.

Navid tells Jack and Victor that the competition can be found on packets of Scones. Jack and Victor are struggling to come up with how they like scones in fifteen words.

In the Clansman, Tam is entertaining the locals with his words to describe products. Then Isa comes in with Harry. Jack, Victor and Winston are quick to chastise Harry for dumping Isa the last time. Boaby, however, tells the locals to behave as he doesn't want any trouble in his pub. Winston attempts to pay for his pint with pie and beans using ginger (soft drink) glass bottles, but Boaby refuses to accept and throws Winston out.

It turns out that Tam has won the scones competiton with the caption "S'gone". Navid tells Jack and Victor that he would only allow Winston to have a tin of cat food on tick (credit). Just before he eats it, Winston is saved by Jack and Victor, who tell Winston he is silly for attempting to eat cat food. It turns out that Winston has bought a tin winning £500.

Winston goes with Jack and Victor to the cafe with his winnings. They meet Isa, who is crying, because Harry has walked out on her, again stealing her money. They comfort Isa, who consoles herself with a picture of Richard Whiteley.

After the credits roll, Jack and Victor are in the toilets in the cafe, where they hear Harry calling for help. He is stuck in the window. Jack and Victor say they will give him a push with a broom, although they ram the broom into Harry's groin, who screams in agony.